


In the Spaces Between

by pherryt



Series: Till the End of the Line [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Blow Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Missing Scene, Not Beta'd, Panic Attack, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Trying to Cope, Wall Sex, captain america the first avenger - Freeform, changed!bucky, devoted bucky, making sure the other is okay, post rescue, reference to period typical homophobia, sneaking off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28357839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Bucky's been rescued, but it's not that easy, is it? He's still in the middle of a war, and worse yet, Steve's there too. He's got to stay strong so he can stay by Steve's side, and if that means hiding things from Steve, then so be it.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Stucky
Series: Till the End of the Line [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569418
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	In the Spaces Between

**Author's Note:**

> Second to last Bingo Square for the Bucky Barnes Bingo - this is Square K4 - Missing Scene
> 
> It also belongs to my Broken Angels series - "Till the End of the Line"  
> It can be read alone, or in conjunction with the story just before and/or just after, or you can read them all
> 
> EXTRA NOTE - this story contains Bucky's side of a flashback Steve has in Broken Angels Chapter 7 - but in much, much greater detail than Steve's memory (And with a few things Steve failed to take note of)

They’d gotten back to camp, and Bucky wanted to simultaneously glue himself to Stevie’s side and never let him out of his sight again, but also to find a spot to hide from everyone, including Steve ( _especially_ Steve) where he could curl up into a ball and let everything just wash over him.

They hadn’t had a single moment since they’d escaped Azzano to speak, not really, and Bucky still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. They should talk about it, probably, but his mind was still reeling and he wasn’t ready to yet, the words stopped up in his throat.

With everything those Nazi bastards had done to him – torture, mind games, drugs – Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what was real right now. If _this_ was real. He’d had odd, fever and drug induced dreams before, but they usually drew on some sort of experience, some sort of external stimuli. This was…

This was nothing Bucky would ever have imagined, and he’d always thought he could imagine a hell of a lot. But the Steve that had rescued him, the Steve that walked beside him without wheezing once – he was the size of at least three Steve’s from back home. Healthy, strong and full of muscles.

He should be happy about that. If it was real. Bucky should.

But instead, there was a cold pit of fear and anger coiling around the nausea left by whatever the Hydra jerks had done to him. Steve should have been home, safe and sound. But here he was, against everything, against all common sense, putting himself in danger.

Not just in danger, but in danger because of _Bucky._

And Bucky couldn’t even grab him and properly check him over. Everyone wanted a piece of Steve now, where before they hadn’t even cared if he’d existed. Fakes. Fakes and hypocrites, the lot of them. A colonel peeled Steve off from the group, a dame following Steve after her eyes had given him a once over.

Jealousy and more fear rose in Bucky so quick he thought he was going to be sick. He’d always known Steve wasn’t for him. Even after they had miraculously gotten together, he’d known it couldn’t last. This maybe, was the one who could steal Steve away from him, and he couldn’t even fight it, not if he wanted to keep Steve safe.

He stared after them in numb horror as the men that had walked with them from Azzano broke apart into smaller groups, some chattering, some quiet.

He should get checked out too, but he was afraid, too afraid of what the Allied doctors might find.

Something at Azzano had changed him, he still wasn’t sure what. What it all meant. What if they found something and sent him home, away from Steve, leaving Steve alone on the battlefield he was never have meant to be on?

Pulling away from the milling crowd, getting lost in the sea of people running to and fro, Bucky headed towards a medical supply shed, half hidden by crates and boxes, wanting to tear off his disgusting clothes and check himself over. He knew enough first aid from all those years taking care of Stevie. If he was still up and walking, then there couldn’t possibly be anything too hard for him to handle under all this dirt.

Just his luck, Bucky caught Steve’s eye on his way and Bucky watched Steve extricating himself with more grace than he’d ever seen Stevie using, unless he was sketching or they were fucking, and then Steve had been a miracle that took Bucky’s breath away.

Bucky needed a moment, but he could never turn Steve away, not when Steve was looking just as anxious as Bucky felt. With a quick look around, Bucky pushed open the door and urged Steve inside.

They were no sooner in the supply shed together than Steve was shutting the door and blocking it with a crate, before he was on Bucky, backing him into a wall. Bucky near froze as Steve practically towered over him, memories flashing back to the place they’d just left, to all those scientists that had bent over his space and cut and cut and cut –

Steve’s hands grasped Bucky’s shoulders. “Buck, you okay?” Steve ran his hands over Bucky’s arms, rucked up his shirt as Bucky’s breath stuttered with the scrape of calloused fingers over his too thin ribcage. That part hadn’t changed, at least. Steve’s hands still felt like Steve, just a little – a _lot -_ bigger.

The single light above them swung wildly, casting shadows that couldn’t possibly have let Steve see if Bucky was hurt or not. “Do you need medical help?”

“Fine,” Bucky rasped out. “I’m fine, you punk.”

“Are you sure? What they did – “ Steve stared at Bucky with worry and care in his eyes. His face was still _his_ Stevie, just like his hands, and his voice, and a little something in Bucky relaxed. Not much, but enough for him to roll his eyes.

“I’m sure, Steve,” Bucky said, twisting his lips up into a grin. “If I was hurt more than some trivial bumps and bruises, y’think I’d have made the trek back?”

Steve’s head fell forward in relief, their foreheads touching. “You always were the strong one, Buck,” he whispered.

 _No,_ Bucky wanted to shout. _That’s not me. If I’m strong it’s because of you. You’re the one who never backs down from a fight or a wrong. You’re the one who’s survived every damn thing that should have killed you. You’re the one who **wanted** to be out here and then found some fucking way to pull it off. How could I ever compare? _

“Sure, whatever you say, Steve,” Bucky said, his voice still coarse and rough.

“I can’t lose you, Buck,” Steve whispered and then he was kissing Bucky, firm and scared and desperate and Bucky shuddered as Steve’s hands moved down from his ribcage and over his ass, pulling him in close, those damnable pants hiding nothing as Steve’s cock – hot, hard and bigger than ever – was pressed against Bucky’s. And this…

Who knew when they’d get another chance at this?

There was no privacy here, not really. At any moment they could be discovered, and they would have to live on in shame, or worse. Likely separated because Steve was now their golden soldier, their icon, and they wouldn’t want anyone to sully that. Meaning Bucky could be torn from his side, unable to protect Steve – though did Steve really need protection anymore?

Or worse – was it worse? Bucky couldn’t decide - one or both of them could die tomorrow, and suddenly Bucky needed this, needed _Steve_ , just as much as Steve needed him.

He groaned into Steve’s mouth, at the twisting glide of Steve’s tongue against his. Bucky’s skin suddenly felt like fire, too sensitive, the scrape of his clothes abrasive and hot. He nearly choked when Steve dropped to his knees suddenly, yanking Bucky’s pants down with them, the cool relief against Bucky’s skin a sharp contrast to the heat that wrapped around his cock.

Bucky’s head fell back against the shed, the wall shuddering under the dull, metallic thud, and he let out a hoarse cry as Steve worked him over. His hips pushed up, pushed his cock deeper into Steve’s mouth and Bucky’s hands scrambled behind him on the wall, trying to find purchase for the leverage to thrust harder. But then he jerked himself back, whimpering as he tried to hold himself still, to not push more than Steve could take.

Steve popped off and Bucky whispered, “Sorry, sweetheart. Stevie, I’m sorry. I won’t – “

“Won’t what?” Steve growled as he stood up. He was licking his lips and there was a hunger in his eyes that called to Bucky. He shivered as Steve grabbed a kit from a nearby shelf and broke into it, grabbing a couple of things. Then his eyes met Bucky’s once more and a slow smirk spread across Steve’s face as he placed the kit back on the same shelf. Without warning, a roll of gauze was shoved into Bucky’s mouth and Steve was whispering into his ear.

“Weren’t you the one who always told me we had to be quiet?” he asked softly, sliding his hand over Bucky’s wet cock and pumping it slowly. Bucky whimpered around the gauze. This part of Steve was new, Steve usually content to let Bucky take control in the bedroom, but today… today _Steve_ was in charge and Bucky… Bucky was okay with that. Because he just wanted to forget the past few weeks. Fuck, he wanted to forget this whole damn war, and if Steve could do that for him…

If Steve wanted to explore this side of their usual dynamic, Bucky was more than glad to just stop thinking and let him.

Steve slid back down to his knees, his mouth wrapping around the head of Bucky’s cock once more, teasingly slow this time. Too slow.

Bucky growled, the sound still echoing in the shed despite the gauze in his mouth. He dropped his hands into Steve’s hair, yanking his gaze up to meet Bucky’s. Bucky let his eyes flicker over to the door and back down to Steve, in as clear a gesture of _“We can’t get caught, so hurry the fuck up”_ as he could make with a mouthful of gauze.

Steve, thank fucking _god_ , took the hint, spreading Bucky’s legs apart and swallowing him down. Bucky’s pulse was a rushing roar in his ears as Steve bobbed up and down on his cock, the slick sound of it, the sight of Steve’s mouth stretched around him but taking him so _easily,_ making Bucky whimper and arch into his mouth. A plane roared overhead, and the sound of something opening was lost in the noise of its’ engine, in the rattle of bottles that shook as it passed, and Bucky was surprised by the sudden, thick digit rubbing at his hole.

Steve, finger slicked up, pushed impatiently in past Bucky’s rim - not harshly, but not gently either, but Bucky didn’t care, not with the promise of Steve filling him up more than he ever had before. How would that feel? Guilt wrapped around him at the thought, a blush of embarrassment rushing over him for thinking of Steve like just another piece of meat, but it didn’t stop him from pushing down on Steve’s finger, riding it desperately.

His fingers tightened in Steve’s hair as Steve continued to lick and suck the entirety of Bucky’s cock, hurriedly adding a second, then third finger as he continued to open Bucky up.

It probably wasn’t enough, Bucky thought, as Steve stood, hands fumbling at the belt of his gaudy uniform, the pants that outlined just how big Steve had gotten since whatever it was that had changed him – they had to talk but now was not the time and Bucky –

Bucky wanted too damn badly, too aware that they couldn’t possibly have much time left. _Somebody_ had to be looking for Steve. _Somebody_ had to be laying in wait to take him away from Bucky again.

Well fuck them. Fuck them all. Steve was Bucky’s first. Was still Bucky’s for who knew how long and he would have him every way he could until the day Steve walked away from him.

Steve hefted Bucky up against the wall, the thick, blunt head of his cock catching on Bucky’s hole. Bucky wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and his arms around Steve’s neck, but Steve grabbed Bucky’s wrists in one hand and pressed them against the wall above Bucky’s head, even as he pulled Bucky down on his cock with his other on Bucky’s ass.

It sent a shiver through Bucky, both pleasant and unpleasant. He wasn’t too sure he liked being restrained anymore, not after…

But this was _Steve,_ and it was also Steve holding Bucky up as if he weighed nothing more than a feather and that was making Bucky’s cock twitch. He let his eyes roll back and closed, concentrating on the heat of Steve’s cock as it slowly pushed inside.

“God, you feel…” Steve pressed the words into Bucky’s neck, breathing hard against his skin. “God, you’ve never felt like this before,” Steve whispered, pulling back a little before thrusting in again. Bucky shuddered as Steve thrust, hips rolling forward and back in small increments until finally they were pressed as close together as they could get.

Steve whimpered and licked at the line of Bucky’s throat and Bucky wished, with all his might, that Steve would give in and _mark_ him, but his lips were a goddamn tease that drove Bucky crazy and Bucky knew Steve was being careful not to give in to the urge.

Instead, he drew back and fucked up into Bucky hard and Bucky’s head slammed back against the wall with a muffled cry, feeling the drag of Steve’s cock splitting him wide. It was a burning ache that coiled and curled in his gut, need licking up his spine, his body writhing under Steve’s as Steve pounded into him, all desperation and no finesse. Steve was biting his own lip now, looking down at where they were joined and where Bucky was hard and leaking.

His eyes flicked up to meet Bucky’s. “Don’t come, Buck,” Steve growled, punctuating the words with a thrust, his eyes flickering shut before snapping open again to pierce Bucky to the wall. “Can’t let the others’ see you defile the uniform like that, let them know what we were doing in here.”

His thrusts didn’t slow with his words and Bucky burned and needed so badly. He rocked, as poorly as he could with the way Steve had him trapped, giving Bucky everything he needed. Bucky clenched around him, and finally Steve lost rhythm, burying his face in Bucky’s neck once more, his fingers squeezing almost too tightly on Bucky’s wrists and his ass.

For the first time in days, Steve was breathing hard and Bucky’s instincts were shouting stop! The old fear of Steve’s asthma rushing forward.

But it wasn’t from exertion, Steve’s body still strong and untremblingly as he fucked Bucky right up against the creaking wall, pinning Bucky down with his own body weight. It was need, it was emotion, it was everything Bucky felt and more and who knew what was running through Steve’s mind. Bucky sure as hell hoped Steve didn’t know what was in his. The fear, the anger, the nightmares he’d had every night on their trek back.

Steve let go of Bucky’s wrists suddenly and the gauze was yanked from his mouth and Steve was pushing into him hard with both cock and tongue, his hand slipping behind Bucky’s back and trying to pull him closer. Bucky’s newly freed arms wrapped back around Steve’s neck and his heels dug into Steve’s back, urging him onward. Steve was pressed so close, the buckles on his uniform and the star were all digging into Bucky’s skin, Bucky’s dogtags jangling as they moved. But it was all barely a blip of sensation with the way Steve thrust into Bucky, coming hard into Bucky’s ass, filling him as their hips stuttered together. Bucky groaned into Steve’s mouth as Steve came, tearing his lips away to gasp,

“Steve, Stevie, please… I gotta… nnnhh…”

“Gotta what, Buck?”

“Gotta let me come, sweetheart, I’m dyin’ here,” Bucky groaned, snaking a hand downward before Steve knocked it away.

Steve stilled, holding Bucky tight against him. “That’s for me, Buck. Let me do this for you, for once. Let me take care of you, the way you always take care of me.” After a moment, Steve sighed into Bucky’s skin and slipped out, setting Bucky’s trembling feet back on the floor. Steve rubbed a thumb over Bucky’s lip. “How ‘bout you come in my mouth? Get rid of the evidence, like?”

“Then get down on your knees and get to it,” Bucky said breathlessly. The sight of Steve taking him in, tasting Bucky as he came, was one of his favorite things to watch. Steve loved it so much, that he’d come just from giving Bucky a blowjob before, and wasn’t that just a damn fine sight, Steve all blissed out because of _Bucky?_

“Think you can be quiet or do I need to stuff the gauze back into your mouth?” Steve asked, smirking at Bucky, a challenge in his eyes. _Stupid jerk,_ Bucky thought fondly _._

“I can be quiet, punk,” Bucky retorted. He wasn’t really sure he could, but he could never say no to a challenge from Steve, which probably made Bucky the stupid one, really.

Steve’s smirk widened and for the third time since they’d come in here, he dropped to his knees, taking Bucky in his mouth, his hands working up and down Bucky’s thighs. It didn’t take Bucky all that long to come, too worked up. He bit down on his hand to muffle his cries as he came into the perfect wetness of Steve’s mouth.

His mind went blank for a good few minutes after, just watching lazily as Steve milked him for every drop he had, then found something to clean Bucky of Steve’s come before helping Bucky get his pants back on. Steve tucked himself away, then leaned in, giving Bucky a sweeter, much less desperate kiss.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Buck,” Steve whispered. “Don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”

“Guess you’ll just have to make sure I don’t get lost,” Bucky whispered back. The day would be coming, he knew, when their luck would run out. One way or the other. Either the war would get one of them, or their lives would. They couldn’t keep up this secret forever. “But go. You must have half the camp looking for you frantically right now.”

“I can’t leave you –“

“Yeah, you can,” Bucky snapped out, perhaps a little too harshly. He softened his voice at Steve’s hurt look. “Go. Let the army get their pound of due flesh. I’m gonna find myself some clean clothes and whatever passes for food around here. Probably make a report, too. You know how it is. You go first, I’ll wait.” Bucky soothed some of Steve’s hair off his forehead. “We’ll be okay. I’ll be okay for five minutes. Promise.”

“Okay, Buck, okay,” Steve said, reluctantly pulling away but doing it because Bucky had said so, and god, Bucky wished Steve would do more things because Bucky said so, like staying in Brooklyn and not resorting to whatever he’d done to become _this_. “I love you.”

“I know,” Bucky said, trailing hand over Steve’s cheek, cupping his jaw. “Love you too, punk.”

Finally – _finally –_ Bucky was left alone. He leaned back against the wall that he’d most recently been fucked up against and heard it creak under his weight. How they hadn’t taken it down with their combined weight and rough lovemaking he didn’t know, but now he let himself slide down the wall, hitting the ground with a thud that knocked the breath out of him.

Or maybe it was already gone.

Whatever reprieve he’d gotten from Steve was leaving as sure as Steve had and Bucky was breathing too hard, too fast now. He was shaking, all over, and he couldn’t seem to stop. Curling in on himself, Bucky tipped over and he stuffed his hand into his mouth to stifle the sounds. He couldn’t let anyone hear him as he sobbed. Couldn’t let anyone see this weakness and decide to send him away.

They might not be wrong, he knew. Just like he knew he was the only prisoner that had been taken back for experiments that had lived. The others, they’d been held, they’d been beaten, they’d been worked to death, but they hadn’t gone back there, hadn’t been injected with god knows what. Still, Bucky was whole, and so were they. They were walking it off, and so Bucky would too.

He had to. If they sent him away, Steve would be alone in this godforsaken hellhole, the last place on earth Bucky had ever wanted Steve to see.

Bucky had failed to keep him safe, to keep him out of the war, but damned if he was going to fail in watching Steve’s back. Wherever Steve went, if that be the jaws of death or the mouth of hell, Bucky would follow.

When the shaking finally subsided and the sobs no longer tore at his throat, Bucky lay for a moment or two more, trying to catch his breath and calm his racing mind. He pushed himself back to sitting and rubbed a hand over his face, through his hair and paused.

He twisted his hand into the light, shifting it this way and that. He stared in disbelief and rising horror.

There should have been bitemarks in his skin. There should have been indents from his goddamn teeth, from when he was trying to hold in all that noise – the cries he’d made when Steve made him climax. From the wrenching sobs afterwards. It hadn’t been long enough for them to fade -

But there was nothing.

Steve wasn’t the only one that was different.

What had HYDRA _done_ to him?

**Author's Note:**

> [ Rebloggable tumblr post here](https://pherryt.tumblr.com/post/638648262555992064/in-the-spaces-between-ship-stucky-rating-e-words)


End file.
